


Ferret rescue

by Dodo



Series: I anthropomorphize everything [34]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Cuddling, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Snuggling, Tony escapes again, Tony is a therapy ferret, steve has big dick energy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26720791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: Tony and Rhodey are therapy ferrets they work to get other ferrets acclimated to being pets again, one day Pepper drops of a pair of ferrets from the AIM lab raid.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: I anthropomorphize everything [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1275044
Comments: 16
Kudos: 70
Collections: POTS (18+) Twink Tony Bingo 2020





	Ferret rescue

**Author's Note:**

> big dick energy fill for twink tony the ferret

Tony was limber and pretty, anyone that came to the rescue was inevitably drawn to his pen and coo over him and his luxurious cinnamon coat. Rhodey was a chocolate solid and would also get just as many coos but he didn’t get picked up as often. Which Tony was low key jealous over, he would honestly prefer not to be picked up but it was part of his job. 

Helping humans to better understand ferrets, and helping ferrets past their traumas, his latest case Peter had blossomed under him, no longer the nervous twitching wreck when he came to the rescue. Tony was a bit upset as soon Peter would go to his forever home and Tony would be alone again till there was another rescue that would need his help.

At least Rhodey would be around, not completely alone. That and when Rhodey’s kit was adopted the puzzle box would be open and they could do some fun tunneling and chewing up the walls. It was a great way to work off the stress of being level headed. 

The top cover of their enclosure was removed and gentle hands came down to pick up a still sleepy Peter.  
“Uh Mr. Banner could I get Ned too? I doubled everything and I don’t want Peter to be lonely when I’m at college. I have the money.”  
Tony perked up peering through the glass to see Peter curled up happily in a soft carrying case. Gwen, the girl adopting him, was probably one of the fastest learners. Tony didn’t mind when she held him, and during play time out of their enclosure she was quick to block his escapes.

“Sure Gwen,”  
New was carefully plucked from the enclosure and the lid snapped back into place.  
“Move over, heat hog.”  
Rhodey pushed Tony over and claimed the warmest spot. Tony rolled back, placing his feet and hands on Rhodey’s fur messing it up, in revenge. He was still warm, and quite aware that Rhodey was just trying to bury the loss of another kit. Tony would certainly miss Peter as well, but Rhodey always bonded with them and forgot that they weren’t going to stay? Tony didn’t know, Tony didn’t want to know it was too close to his own feelings on the matter.  
-

“Bruce, we have the seizure there were ferrets and they aren’t really friendly at all. Natasha will bring them.”  
Dr. Banner paced his kitchen while on the phone listening to Pepper’s accounts of the animals seized from a local lab, AIM or something.

“There was a horse Bruce, I can count her ribs. An osprey with one wing… yeah we’re taking it to Sam. I’m just glad we got the tip off, now to get these animals what they deserve.”  
“I do have room for the Ferrets, so don’t worry about that, do you know anything about them?”  
He fiddled with a pad of paper as Pepper listed them being found in a rat cage, one was missing a leg, and the other seemed to have blunted teeth.

“Bruce they seem to be feral, will Tony be okay?”  
“Tony will be just fine. I won't introduce them right away. He’s due for some puzzle time anyways.”  
“Ah, good, he’s still my favorite rescue.”  
“Mine too Pepper.”  
Bruce hung up, and carefully finished his list. First he needs to clean the enclosure, and set up the temporary cages. Also the puzzle floor of the cage should be opened Tony, was always eager to go through the new puzzle and destroy it. Rhodey would follow. Then he could clean up the rest of the cage while they were down there.

He made sure to fill the treat rewards with some chicken liver, and then opened the trapdoor to the puzzle palace. He watched Tony perk up and bounce around the door before darting down. Rhodey followed at a less spastic pace. He closed the door and tackled the litter box first.  
-  
The new ferrets were checked out by the vet and true to Pepper’s word Natasha brought them by. Housed together they were a prickly pair of ferrets, Bruce realized that he may have to rearrange the housing area so they could be together while in view of Tony and Rhodey. They were up on the shots and he got notification that they have been neutered and their anal glands had long ago been removed. 

He checked over the one with the missing leg, while the other ferret hissed threateningly at him baring the stubby canines. They were very thin and a bit cold. He closed the enclosure much to the hissing Ferret’s displeasure. Steve was apparently super protective of the armless ferret that went by Bucky. Apparently the missing arm only made him bounce more, thus Bucky.

Bruce was planning to pair Bucky with Rhodey so he carefully lifted Rhodey up so the ferrets could see each other while being held. Bucky sniffed first then Rhodey. Bruce placed them carefully on the ground in the playpen to watch them interact. 

There was a thump, and he looked up briefly to see Tony smushing himself on the observation port of the puzzle palace. So he had noticed Rhodey’s absence. He shrugged and returned his focus on the two ferrets that were checking each other out.  
-  
Tony was a bit miffed Rhodey had been playing with a new ferret, an all white one with blue eyes and he'd come back and with the trace scent of the other ferret. Rhodey seemed a bit smug about it too. Tony was the best therapy ferret!

“He’s really cool, Tones has this big dick energy about him. He is worried about Steve the other one. They came from a lab. You should have seen him with the shag carpet.”  
Rhodey was chatting over the puzzle thing as Tony wiggled his little mits into it and disable the latch so they could eat all the liver without solving it. Normally Rhodey would be against this. It was clear to Tony that Rhodey was enamoured with this other ferret. Big dick energy sounded fascinating.

Obviously Tony had to see the other ferret who was being left out as well. The toy made a noise of complaint but the doors opened and the liver was free. Tony feasted upon the treats, Rhodey followed suit. And in the end they were napping together Rhodey spoke again.  
“The other ferret is called Steve, and I know you Tones. Just be careful?”  
“Sure thing!”

So he planned to slip out when Bruce was busy with Rhodey and visit the other ferret. It was a beautiful plan, simple and efficient. He just waited till his Brucey bear had the two ferrets in his hand and then slid out of the half on screen using the toilet roll as a ladder. 

Once free he scampered down and darted for the quarantine room, to find the other ferret that Rhodey had mentioned. Apparently Bucky, the one Rhodey was hanging out with had a friend stashed in the quarantine cage and Tony was going to visit. He nosed the cracked door open and scurried into the room, he came across a jar of peanut butter and twisted away in revulsion.

Bouncing and bobbing away from the jar he climbed up the couch leg and bounded across the cushions. Occasionally giving the jar a stink eye. Bruce had obviously put that jar here to keep Tony out. It would have worked most days but right now Tony was far too interested in the other ferret. Why he could barely scent him. Why had Bruce set up Rhodey first?

He leaned forward on the couch arm sniffing he could smell something but it was faint. So he decided closer and jumped at the cage, landing he climbed it till he reached the platform the other ferret was on. Shivering white lump, Tony nosed at it from the bars.  
“Hey I’m Tony, heard about you from Bucky and Rhodey. We should have fun too!”

“Go away,”  
The white fur curled up even tighter, and Tony slid down the bars and landed with a soft thump on the floor. He climbed up the other side, pressing his snout into the cage from the safe surface of the side table.

“I can show you how to escape and we can curl up in the cushions, it will be warmer!”  
Tony pranced in a circle his plan was fool proof the other ferret looked cold. Steve’s head perked up and he gave Tony a look.  
“Escape? You can’t,”  
“How do you think I got here?”

Tony crowded excitedly as Steve slowly uncurled and made his way over to the side Tony was at. Steve looked very much like Bucky except he had all his legs, Tony shoved his nose between the bars to sniff Steve, and Steve recoiled at first but then let Tony smell him. Tony waited for Steve to stop sniffing him as well.  
“Hi, Tony.”  
“Okay! Let me break you out!”

Tony hopped on to the skinny ledge, skittering over to the simple pinch lock on the cage and wiggling at it. FInally getting the pressure right to slide the door up. Steve was watching him with wide eyes, Tony wiggled back to the couch and wiggled around making a spot on the cushion near the back of the couch and arm rest to have more sides, for a warmer cuddle.

Steve carefully stepped out of the cage and then slid off the ledge onto the floor. Tony watched as Steve inspected the dreaded peanut butter jar. Steve toppled it with a well placed kick and then made his way awkwardly over to Tony. Seemed Steve wasn’t used to carpet.

“My hero! Defeating that jar with your big dick energy!”  
Steve squinted at Tony as he climbed up the couch.  
“Did Buck say that?”  
“No, but I saw you just kick that jar under the table. It's obviously big dick energy to take down that terrible peanut butter jar.”  
Steve just looked confused but he managed to get onto the couch easily enough.

Bounding over to Tony who moved out of the choicest place tucked into the couch so Steve could have it. Tony ended up pushing Steve into the spot between the cushions and tucking him in, there was a bit of a feeble opposition. Though it seemed half hearted on Steve’s part. Tony easily won and draped himself over Steve.  
-  
Pepper looked alarmed, she had come over to see how the lab ferrets were doing, to Seeing a mildly panicked Bruce looking under things. In the play pen the chocolate ferret and bucky were playing with the tubes, chasing each other and then wiggling over each other in the tube and the chasing would start again.

“Bruce?”  
“Tony got out again, except I can’t seem to find him. Normally he tries to ambush me.”  
Pepper shook her head and placed her purse down. She made her way back to the other lab ferret. There she found the door opened, and on the couch a snuggled up and sleeping two ferrets. She sighed, so much for worrying about Tony.

“Bruce, he’s with Steve on your couch.”  
“Oh good! I even put up that jar of peanut butter as a deterrent.”  
“Oh, I’ll have to hear that story.”  
“He got into it and almost drowned, I’m not sure how.”

“Sounds like Tony, so he has a hatred of it just like the tv remote?”  
Bruce shook his head as he peeked into the room sure enough the lith cinnamon body of Tony was wrapped around Steve who looked very relaxed.  
“No, the remote did shock him, but he still tries to take it apart, I think he’s afraid of the peanut butter jar.”

Bruce closed the door quietly, the quarantine room was ferret proof, he’d check back in a few minutes. He’d wanted to introduce the lab ferrets to the others slowly and focused on Bucky and Rhodey, thinking Tony would need a break. It had been foolish of course Tony would let him know when he needed a break. Didn’t matter much now, Bucky would be moved into the main enclosure and Tony would be with Steve in the play pen. 

Bruce shook his head, he had to patch a hole in the bottom of the puzzle enclosure that he was pretty sure Tony’s doing. He opened the door and snapped a photo of Tony swaddling Steve on the couch too cute. He was going to place that image on his website.


End file.
